My Prayer

Dear God-

I am not a morning person, but You know that because You knew me before I was born. So, Father, knowing me as You do, why why WHY did You bless me with children that don't like to sleep? Why does Zachary love to get up before the sun? Why does he have such a generous soul and want to share his awake time with his beloved (sleeping) brother and his exhausted mother? Do they really need to eat breakfast at 5:30 in the morning? Come on Lord....they can't enjoy my disposition that early in the morning.... I certainly don't enjoy my disposition that early in the morning. Seriously, You gave twins, can't You at least let them sleep until 7? I am quite sure that this is Your way of telling me to go to bed earlier, but Father, when they are asleep they are quiet! Really quiet. It makes me feel sane for like 3 minutes. I like to read books that don't have pictures of tractors or loaders or monsters in them. I enjoy talking to my husband about subjects that don't involve the words "big boy potty" and "hot dogs wif ranch". Lord, I know that sometimes the answer to my prayer is "NO" and I accept that, but I will still be cranky. Amen.

Things my kids are obsessed with....

***Ella***

* Disney Television
* Disciplining her brothers
* Books
* The Jonas Brothers
* Swimming
* Saying inappropriate things at inappropriate times
* Being Dramatic
* Being 7

***Nathan***

* Boots
* Eating sand
* Wearing only his pajama tops
* Swimming
* Trucks with trailers
* Demanding movies and then not watching them
* Praying at least six times during every meal
* His mother
* Sticking his fingers in his mouth


***Zachary***

* His Towel
* His Binky
* Wearing socks with sandals
* Opening and closing andopeningandclosingandopening the back door
* Biting his brother
* Going backwards
* Saying "Amen" in the loudest possible voice at the dinner table and at church
* Swimming

Will I Ever Learn?

What do you get when you mix 2 two year old boys, a loader dump truck tractor scraper mower digger bulldozer, and a bowl of rocks and corn (aka Kix)? Well, my friends, besides a huge, crunchy mess on my floor, you get 45 minutes of pure, unadulterated little boy fun. Surely I had better things to do than sit and watch my sons enjoy the simplest of pleasures, but I can't think of a one.

What happens when 2 two year old boys have played nicely for 45 minutes? Literally at minute 46 someone has to disturb the peace. Someone has to take the scraper from his brother and a short tussle will ensue. Then brother will decide that the scraper is last weeks news and get the dump truck, but it seems that someone will not let the little tiff go and amid shouts of "NO" from the mother, someone gives lil' ol' brother a big scraper to the back of the head. Someone (Zak) ends up in the corner for some serious "you need to think about what you did and why it was an inappropriate way to handle your emotions" time and brother (Nate) spent some time in the chair with mother (me) making sure that nothing was seriously damaged. Thankfully all was fine and Zak did his allotted time in the corner. Nate was all ready to hug and make up, but Zak apparently holds grudges and wouldn't hug his bro back. Let's just say that Zachary is becoming well acquainted with the corner, the wall, the time out chair lately and Nate spends a lot of time getting his wounds nursed by me.

.....And you wonder why I haven't blogged in over 2 months......

Things that keep me awake at night

(Not including my children, my husband, my dog, my hormones, my creaky 105 year old house....)

What are the 23 flavors in Dr. Pepper? 23...Really?

Do flannel sheet makers get hate mail? I mean, I love my flannel sheets, so much so, that if I could, I would stay in my cozy, warm bed all the live long day! But do people with real jobs hate flannel sheets?... How do they haul themselves out of bed in order to get to work on time? Do employers find that they have a sudden rash of late and absentee workers when the weather turns cold? (We do....oh wait, the weather isn't a contributing factor here.)

When should I start to use anti-aging lotion? I still get zits, but I can see the beginnings of a few "laugh" lines. Do they make a lotion for "somewhere in between puberty and menopause"? Benzoyl peroxide with Retin-A?

Why are boys so different than girls?

Why does Nathan only want to eat sherbert for breakfast? and lunch? and dinner?

Does anyone else have really vivid dreams about telling your inlaws off about how rude it is to take 34 days of vacation to Maui while you have to stay at home with your crabby husband, 3 snotty nosed children, dog that has to be on a special diet, and allllllll of their workload? Really? Could I handle any more? Probably, but I don't wanna. **pout**

Why aren't there ever enough hours in the day?

Why won't my house stay clean for longer than 17 minutes? Why Why Why?

Why am I not sleeping?

Good night.....

Letting go.

Okay, so for the 3 of you that actually read my blog, you already know that I am slightly neurotic. I mean, come on, it's right there in the header! Anyway...it was a sad day for me. I had to throw away 40 bags of frozen breast milk in order to fit 35 bags of hamburger in my deep freezer. It was so hard! I know that the boys are almost 2, but still it was tough. It was like throwing their baby days away and knowing that we will never have another baby means that I will never experience that phase of life again. Ugh....I need therapy.

Lesson NOT learned

Seriously folks, you have got to watch your toddlers! In the 3 minutes (or 10) it takes to make out at deposit slip (aka checking email, looking at facebook, staring into space....) your almost 2yo twins will destroy everything that has taken you years to accomplish. They will climb mountains and open doors to a whole new world.....or they will climb up cupboards to get your makeup and open the front door to call for the dog and any other varmint in the neighborhood. Good thing daddy happened to be near the house and heard a little boy voice calling for Fletchy or who knows what or who we would have had in the living room. It was only the large daddy voice that brought me out of my stupor and alerted me to the trouble in the other wing of the house. This is what I found.

But darn if he isn't cute! A little bronze eyeliner really brings out his smile. One day I will learn to pick up after myself and I will eventually get the entire house Nate and Zak proof....most likely when they leave for college. Whatever.

The face of mischief....

Hi. My name is Zak. I like to make life exciting. I think that it is funny when my mom pulls on her hair and her left eye twitches. It's super fun when she yells at me, but says my brother's name by mistake....sometimes Nate is being naughty too, but usually it's all me, baby. I have recently learned to crawl out of my crib. I am awesome!

This, this is the face that greeted me at 12:37 AM on Tuesday morning saying ever so politely "Mother, may I please have smidge of milk? And I would also enjoy a private viewing of my new favorite movie Cars. If you could be ever so kind as to do these things for me, I would be forever grateful." or maybe he just said "Milky?" "Cars?" and then ran around in the dark.

This is the boy that makes us do this to his bed, so that he can't ask for drinks and private viewings of his favorite movies during the wee hours of the morning....

......some very ingenius thinking on Kevin's part....especially at 1:30 in the morning. Yet another use for pool noodles! Unfortunately, Kev had to go out to his garage to get said noodles and at 1:30 AM it was COLD outside!!!! Yay Daddy! Zak actually thinks that his bed is super cool now and has been safely tucked in for the past 2 nights!

Both boys have continued with their fasination in potty training. As if I could possibly fit one more thing into our day. Here is Zak's newest take on potty training. I'm thinking that maybe his lil bum was chilly or maybe he just wants to drive me crazy.

The REAL Santa Claus

Santa Claus made an appearance at Big G and the Kissinger Kids were eagerly anticipating their meeting witht he big guy. Zachary could hardly contain himself....he hollered "Santa" all the way to town. Nate was silent. I think that he was mentally cataloging his list. Ella had her schpeel all worked out.....an American Girl doll, Get a Clue books, and a New York fashion designer game.

We got to Big G and the big moment had finally arrived....Santa!! Zak froze...a deer in the headlights. Who was this huge man in red and what was that white stuff on his face? Where was the Santa he'd been expecting? You know the one with a black top hat, button eyes, a carrot nose and a corn cob pipe....our poor Zak thinks that Santa is a snowman.

Ellie, having all of her ducks in a row, marched right up to Santa, sat down, got the list laid out for him and got her candy cane. Love a lady that gets right to the point and gets the job done.

Nathan had business to do with the man in red and actually mustered up the nerve to sit on his lap. I think that it helped to have his big sis there to hold his hand and tell him that it would all be okay.

Now that Christmas morning has past, Ella told me..."Mom, that must have been the REAL Santa at Big G, because I got everything that I asked for." What a good listener that Santa is and a very lucky little girl Ellie is.

Apparently, Santa needs to go on a diet. I asked Ellie to get his plate of cookies ready and this was all she gave him. She's lucky the Big Guy thinks that she's cute....

**Santa didn't know what a NY fashion designer game was and his American Girl doll wore Madame Alexander doll shoes, but the books were the real deal!!**

Mommy in Grouchland

Office visit ...... $30
ER visit ......... yet to be determined unbelievable amount of $$$
Call to on-call pediatrician ....... FREE!!
Office visit ...... $30
2 day stay at non-luxurious MLMH ...... yet to be determined ungodly huge amount of $$$
Seeing the Nater smile again ........ truly priceless

Warning....Really long and quite boring....

It has been a long couple of weeks. Ella got the flu (down for a few hours), Kevin got the flu (down for 2 days), Nate got the flu and pneumonia (down for a full week with multiple dr visits and eventual hospital stay) Ella got the flu again (down for one night), Zak made himself puke cuz he felt left out and I am yet to get truly sick (althought I am tired beyond belief). Life is finally getting back to normal here at the Kissinger family home.

I am so thankful for our family in this time of stress and need. My parents and Kevin's parents were so very helpful and patient and understanding. I am still trying to get my schedule back to normal...spending a full week in bed with a sick kids has taken its toll on my house, our laundry situation, and seriously cut into my mindless computer time.

Nathan got sick on Wednesday December 17th. Just the run of the mill puking all over his mom and the floor and in his parents bed. The start of some super fun times. Thursday afternoon the poo started, so I thought that maybe he should be seen by a "real" medical professional. The PA at our pedi's office said that he was not yet dehydrated and gave us Zoforan to deal with his nausea so that we could keep something in him and start to get him hydrated. Things started looking up on Friday as he was more animated and actually ate some lunch. They looked up until 4:30 when he started puking and pooping what can only be called "the most foul smelling stagnet water on the earth". Of course at 4:30 on Friday afternoon is now after hours at the clinic. The on-call PA said that he needed to be seen and unfortunately that meant the ER. So Nate and I trekked on in to Hastings and the most exciting ER at MLMH. Poor Nater. It took 3 tries to get his IV started and about 6 different lab draws plus a chest X-ray before they left us alone to let him get his fluid. They determined from the x-ray that he had pneumonia and gave him IV antibiotics. They called the pediatrician on call and he said to send us home after the appropriate amount of fluid was given. I should have known that this was a mistake because as soon as we got home from the ER he puked all over the family room.

Saturday my mom took the other Kissinger Kids for us. God Bless her. Most of our day was spent lying around listening to Nate moan and cry and watching him sleep. After he ate a couple of crackers, we decided to try his antibiotic and not 20 minutes after he took it, he puked it all out. Hence our call to the office once again. We were told to give him the medicine in 2 half doses in stead of one large dose. OKAY....

Sunday, Kevin went to Christmas at his Grandma's house and to bring Ellie home for school on Monday morning. My mom decided to keep Zak for us until Nate started to feel better. Nathan slept almost the entire day on Sunday and when he wasn't sleeping he was moaning, wailing, or pooping.

Monday, we called the office to make an appt, because he was so listless and "not Nate". Kev's mom took him for a while so that I could actually get a little sleep. That was so appreciated. I had only slept for at most 2hrs at a time since Weds evening. Hanging with a puking, pooping, restless, crying 22mos old is not condusive to sleep. Anyhoo, enough about my sad story, back to Nate....our appt was at 3:45. At 3:00, the school called saying that Ellie wasn't feeling good, had had an "episode of diarrhea" and that they would like for us to come and get her. Arrrrgh!! So, Kev's mom went to SC to get Ella, and we took Nate to the dr. While we were waiting to be called back the poor kid started to puke all over me, the floor, himself. Amazingly he totally missed Kevin. Imagine that. Did you know that puking in the waiting room does NOT get you called back any faster? Loved sitting out there discussing my sons woes with a stranger and a girl that I barely knew from high school. When we did finally get back, they took one look and said that he needed to go to the hospital.

Our stay at MLMH was decidedly unfun. They had a very hard time finding a vein to start his IV, but fortunately were able to get his IV started on the first try and lab was able to get their draw on the first try as well. He only slept from 10pm until 12:30am that night. He finally started to settled down when they allowed him to have some ice chips and I put in the movie Elmo in Grouchland. I think that this brought him some comfort because we have this movie at home and he had seen it several times in the past couple of weeks. (It was a welcome repreive from the horrible All About John Deere movies) We watched Elmo (all 1hr 15mins) twice before his IV stopped. His vein had blown and his little arm was so swollen and he was in lots of pain. I just couldn't take it anymore. I was so tired and hated to see my little boy being put thru so much pain...the tears started and I couldn't get them to stop. I had to leave him, for the first time in days, while they tried to get the new IV started. I felt like such a bad mom, I couldn't help him and I left him in his time of need. I am thankful that this took place at 5am so there weren't many people around to see my mental break down in the halls of the 2nd floor. They were able to get his IV done, but it was in a very precarious position. I was so nervous about holding him and moving him, because I didn't want him to lose this IV. By the grace of God this one withstood the test of time and held for the rest of his stay. The drs decided to let him eat a little on Tuesday morning and I tell you what...he at like a trucker. All of his eggs, all of my eggs, a piece of toast and some cinnamon roll. After he got his little belly full, we were off to sleep. We basically slept all day on Tuesday, which was both a blessing and a curse. While the sleep was a welcome retreat, it meant that Nate was still very sick. They say that rehydrated babies really perk up after recieving fluids and Nate just wasn't perking up like they would have liked to have seen, so it was another night for the two of us and Elmo. That darn little red dude kept my little pale dude happy, so I endured.

Christmas Eve morning brought many good things for us. Nate love the rides in the red wagon, up and down and up and down andupanddownand...you get the picture, the hallway of the second floor. There are 15 doors on the west side of the hall and 15 doors on the east side of the hall....Nate pointed them all out many times. We saw many beautiful hearts on the 24th. A little girl brought up a few gifts for the children in the hospital and someone had donated stuffed animals as well. Pastor Remmers came to visit before lunch. Before we left the State Patrol brought up a bunch of teddy bears for the kids, but Nate was the only one on the floor. They came to visit him in his room and let him pick out a bear. How very thoughtful of them all!! We got home about 2:30 on Christmas Eve afternoon. We were all so happy to be home.

This whole ordeal with Nathan really made me doubt my parenting ablility. I don't think that I'll every feel completely competant as a parent. I guess that I'll just keep plugging away and praying that I'll do it right and without too much lasting trauma to the Kissinger Kids. I am thankful that God gave me these children to love and protect and I pray that we don't have to go through this again any time soon. I hate it when my kids are split up and away from eachother and from the entire family. I am also thankful that God has given me the patience to get through watching Elmo in Grouchland 876 trajillion times since we've been home from the hospital...seriously...I wouldn't lie about something so flipping important as Elmo's search for his blanket. It is high drama, on screen and off, especially when Mommy says that Melmo has to take a nap and Nate and Zak pitch a fit. Good times.

Wow...if you made it through all of this, then I applaud you. It was really just a cathartic release for me. It was a hard week and I am glad that it is over.